Everyone I know punishes themselves for their mistakes. Everyone.

It’s usually something quite subtle, typically an inner dialogue: “I’m an idiot” “That was stupid” … you get the idea.

OK, maybe not so subtle.

Very few people celebrate their wins. Almost no one I know consciously, purposefully, specifically rewards themselves for good results.

And everyone should. If you want more success, more victories, more wins in your life then you need to train yourself. This is basic positive reinforcement, yes? Yes?

Now here’s the tricky part – before you start any task, decide and write down how you will celebrate. How will you reward yourself?

It doesn’t have to be something complex or expensive … just something you like a lot. For example, “I am going to study for two hours. When I’m finished, I will call my friends and hang out to celebrate.” Keep track of the rewards you choose for yourself and find out which ones really make you feel great. Then do more of those.

And be nice to yourself, OK? Promise me you’ll stop calling yourself bad names. That doesn’t help anything.